Nobody knows that for the past week I have been in a funk. I associate it with the death of my sister as it will be 2 years on March 7th that she passed away. Everyone goes to school, my husband goes to work and I go back to bed. I just don’t have it in me right now to be all that productive. I have no desire to talk to anyone and I don’t feel like going out in public. I know I have to force myself to do things that I don’t want to do in order to get over this hump. But grief can do strange things. You can be doing well one week and you can hit rock bottom the next. I know it’s all part of my journey. So with that being said I am going to make myself get up and be somewhat productive.
What made me smile today?
Thus far it has been the moon. What a splendid sight to see first thing this morning. Then to turn in the other direction and to see that the sun was making its way up. The sky to the east was reds and pinks. To the west it was ever so blue and clear, with just the moon in it. Not a cloud in sight.
Oh, the thought of red jelly beans also made me smile. Star Burst Reds are by far the best jelly beans. I could definitely develop an addiction to their sugary goodness.
Those are just a few things that have made me smile so far today. What made you smile today?
What does friendship mean to you? Is it a convenience or is it something you work at. Do you keep your friends or are they kept for a season? I don’t have very many friends. I have been burned a few times so I keep my guard up. Once you have earned my trust I will be forever loyal. It’s too bad most people don’t share the same feelings.
The sun is shining ever so brightly and there is not a cloud in sight. I am hoping Spring is around the corner. I cannot wait to see the tulips and daffodils break through the soil and grace us with their presence. What was once brown and dead looking will come to life with colors so bright. Shades of red, pink, yellow, green and white. I am so looking forward to Spring. A time for renewal and rebirth. A time to come alive. A time to feel alive. Happy Saturday!
Little did I know I would lose myself along the way as I tried to maintain some type of normalcy.
Only to long for the person I once was just a few years ago.
Somehow hoping to find the person I once was before loss came knocking at my door.
Trying my damnedest to find you as I know you are there waiting.
I wonder if I am just paranoid or if my hunch is spot on. Have you ever felt like your spouse is cheating on you? I have had an overwhelming feeling something was up tonight. He only solidified it with a voicemail saying he was just leaving the hotel….opps, restaurant. Was it an honest slip up or was he at a hotel?
I have been waiting several months to feel normal again. I don’t know if things will ever go back to the way they were a few years ago. I find that I am falling into depression again. I would rather stay in bed than get up. It’s as if I have no motivation whatsoever. I hate feeling like this. Depression sucks.